GOP Rejects Reid’s Half Measures, Embraces Gangsta Rap

Leading Republicans went on Fox News Monday to say they were outraged by two-year-old remarks of Democratic Senate Majority leader Harry Reid about the electability of Barack Obama.

Reid, an early Obama supporter, spoke of Obama's light skin colour and his lack of "Negro dialect." The GOP, they said, would never apply such superficial criteria to the choice of "high-toned African-American officials," according to former Sen. Trent Lott, mentioning former Secretary’s of State Condaleeza Rice and Colin Powell and Republican National Committee chair Michael Steele.

Republican officials added that the GOP would never use an outmoded term such as "Negro," except in that beloved Christmas spiritual, Barack The Magic Negro.

Meanwhile, Liz Cheney urged her party to unite behind rapper 50 Cent for the GOP presidential candidate in 2012.

"That will teach Reid a lesson," Cheney, daughter of former Vice President Dick Cheney, said. She noted that so-called “gangsta” rap is about guns, wearing big crosses, distrust of government, entrepreneurship, rejection of science and elite education, over-dressing, torturing your enemy, occasionally shooting your friends and upholding old-time patriarchy.

"I'm not accusing Mr. Cent of any of these things, mind you. Let's face it, Tupac and Notorious B.I.G aren't here any more, but maybe we can hearken back to them," Cheney added.

Plus, she observed, "singing along with gangsta rap lyrics makes it possible to go way beyond just saying 'Negro'," the way Chip Saltsman, one-time candidate for chair of the Republican National Committee, and Reid did.

"That will be a relief for a lot of members of our party," Cheney acknowledged.

"You can't accuse gangsta rap of being anything lite," she said. "Nobody in my family has ever been able to understand a word they say – but we like the values, especially the guns and shooting and torturing people."

Embracing this subculture, Cheney asserted, would help the Republican Party get back to its core values. Moreover, she said, the Republican Party could reinvigorate gangsta rap, which many say is dead, killed by the opulence the big payouts by recording companies made possible.

"Did you see what we did to Baghdad and Saddam? Nobody is better at gang wars and busting caps in people's asses than we are. We're proof that rich people don't have to be soft or nice."

Asked about a possible running mate for 50 Cent, Cheney just smiled coyly.