Monday, September 8, 2008

When Did God Become America’s Concierge?

Major league baseball has more great stories than any other sport about the delightfully odd assortment of characters that played the game across the past 175 or so years.

Watching a video yesterday of Sarah Palin in her Wasilla church beseeching God to get her pipeline proposal approved reminded me one such story, supposedly involving Hall of Fame catcher Johnny Bench.

Just before stepping into the batter’s box one afternoon, an opposing player mouthed a silent prayer, crossed himself and pointed to the skies, asking for divine intervention so he could get on base. Bench called time, rose from his crouch behind home plate and went through the same cross-my-heart-and-point-to-God routine. As he settled back into position, Bench reportedly told the hitter, “OK, we’re all even with God. Let’s play ball.”

Ever since the early days of the evangelical movement in the late 1970s, it seems as if a growing number of Americans are relying on God to be their personal concierge, rushing in to take care of life’s big and little issues, annoyances and aggravations.

It’s everywhere.

In pro sports, opponents in the same game do a quick prayer before a play begins. No way can God take care of opponents on the same play.

Stump politicians entreat the heavens to bless America and whatever position they were touting that particular day. But across town, the other party’s candidate just did the same thing. What does God do? Flip a coin? Grant one side’s request one day and the other side’s the next?

Pentagon generals are quoted as saying they pray for divine help in battle even though I’m not sure we ought to be asking God to pick sides in the killing fields; I’d think he’d find the whole thing disgusting.

I have an acquaintance who asks God – sometimes Jesus, but usually God – for the really important things in his life, such as a great discount on a Caribbean holiday. He also told me that God truly blessed him by getting him a new, high paying job as a VP of a major bank. Oh.

Meanwhile, in Iraq Sunni’s praise Allah as they blow themselves to martyrdom and their 70 waiting virgins, taking as many of the infidel Shi’a with them as they can. But on the next block, Shi’a are doing the same thing to Sunni in the name of the same Allah. It strikes me that if Allah has a sense of humor, then the 70 virgins awaiting the martyrs will be clones of Ann Coulter or Michelle Malkin.

And here, a candidate for Vice President of the United States of America is praying for a pipeline. Not just any pipeline, mind you, but the specific pipeline Sarah Palin wants built.

If there is a God or Allah or even a Great Pumpkin, it strikes me that He, She or It is far too busy with the real problems of the cosmos to worry about the route of a pipeline. Or finding my friend a cut-rate deal to St. Bart’s.

Just to be crystal clear, I have no problem with anyone following a faith, kooky or not, or having no religious beliefs at all.

When my sister and I were quite young, mother marched us from one house of worship to another, week after week. We sat in quiet awe of the Catholic Bishop and his tall hat. We were scared to death by a fire and brimstone Protestant preacher. We clapped along, singing and jumping with glee as a black Baptist choir and preacher shouted “Hallelujah!” We tried to figure out what odd language a Rabbi was speaking. A Unitarian speaker – I don’t think they have ministers – sounded like a wise uncle giving a little chat. She even hauled us off to a B’hai Temple and if there had been a Mosque within 100 miles of where we lived, she would have taken us there, as well.

It wasn’t to give us religion – mother had none herself – nor was it to teach us that religions make people different. Rather, it was to show us that people are all the same, regardless of what religion they practice or if they practice none at all.

So, thanks to my upbringing, if someone finds divine inspiration in worshipping a fire hydrant, well, good for them. Someone’s faith (or lack of it) is their own damn business. Period. But I do have a problem with candidates for any office – Vice President of the United States or Mosquito Control District board – who pray not for guidance but for specifics. And, as a result, I have a burning need to find out their views on separation of church and state.

In the case of Sarah Palin, I wonder if she understands that the Constitution not only protects religion from state interference but it also protects citizens from religious interference.

ABC News’ Charley Gibson has landed an interview with Palin. I’d like him to ask her some questions about religion, separation of church and state, and why she feels God is her personal concierge. But given the ground rules insisted upon by her handlers, I doubt he’ll have a chance.

Too bad. Enquiring minds need to know.


CoyoteGirl said...

Thanks for another dose of intelligence and sanity while half the country is losing theirs. I'm convinced that if Palin were actually asked the church/state question, she would answer it exactly right. She wouldn't believe it, but she would say it. Our biggest problem is that there is, no doubt in my mind, a cunning quick wit behind this flake.

Connect the Dots 2006 said...

Mr. Curmudgeon, you should study the constitution a little more closely yourself -- there is no separation of church and state in the document.

There is the first amendment, which reads in part: "Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof;"

From Wikipedia:
The phrase 'separation of church and state' is generally traced to a letter written by Thomas Jefferson in 1802 to the Danbury Baptists, in which he referred to the First Amendment to the United States Constitution as creating a 'wall of separation' between church and state."

Regardless of the constitution, our country was founded on judeo-christian principles, which recognizes the necessity of following the laws of a higher power.

Mrs. Palin is at least consistent in her application of her religion, rather than throwing a long-time pastor under the bus for political expedience.

She's the real deal.

Anonymous said...

Dear Mr Dot Connector ...

Nowhere in the Founder's notes taken during the Constitutional convention, nor the Federalist Papers, nor any subsequent correspondence between the Founders is there any hint of a "higher power" governing the nation.

In fact, Jefferson wrote to James Madison that he believed most Americans would end up being Unitarian, if they had any religion at all.

For example, the phrase "In God We Trust" on money is a fairly recent invention and was the subject of significant controversy at the time it was adopted. In any event, the US Supreme Court settled the matter once and for all when it ruled in the school prayer case many years ago that religion in any form has no place in "official" America.

I'm not sure how you define "the real deal" as far as Sarah Palin is concerned but, in my book, real deals do not lie about political positions they took until it wasn't convenient (the Bridge and then the Road to Nowhere), nor do they loudly proclaim "family values" but have their name come up as indulging in an affair in the divorce filings of their spouse's former business partner.

If she is the "real deal," America is in more trouble than any of us have imagined.

ckennedy said...

Amen, Brother Curmudgeon, It's too bad folks everywhere can't just follow the simple "be good for goodness' sake" rule.

Born out of fear and ignorance and continued as an effort to control the unruly masses, organized religion is of course responsible for a huge portion of the cruelty, repression, divisiveness, war, injustice, misery, and suffering throughout human history.

All the good people of all faiths working away quietly, doing so much good, are so often drowned out by the fundamentalist branch of their religion. W.H. Vanstone likened the Church of England to a "swimming pool, the shallow end of which is where all the noise comes from."

That applies to most things in human culture, but it definitely brings to mind teevee preachers and folks like Sarah Palin.

ckennedy said...

Dear Dots,

Real deal? To a segment of the population, perhaps. But most of us, including mainstream Christians, don't share her extreme beliefs which are to the Right even of Bush, Cheney and McCain.

What exactly is the real deal about anyone who is "pro-life" and also supports the death penalty? If you can't play God at the beginning, what sort of divine arrogance lets you be judge, jury AND executioner at the end?

“My goodness, hang ’em up, yeah,” she was quoted in the Anchorage Daily News two years ago when asked about the death penalty in extreme cases.

So many examples her of hypocriy, arrogance, trouble with truth-telling and shallow understanding of issues are being exposed. Is this "real deal" truly the best the GOP has to offer?

IludiumPhosdex said...

It may be worth knowing that the Assemblies of God has taken exception (as continues to this day) with "Latter Rain" theology and its several components, in particular:


*Joel's Army;

*The Fivefold Ministry;

*"birthing;" and

*The Prosperity Gospel.

(Such, as a matter of record, are considered by the Assemblies of God as "heretic" and "deviant." Further, its objections to "Latter Rain" date back to 1949.)

One Black Man said...

Hi, I don't see an email for you, I would like to invite you to appear on our internet radio program. email me at

ilovemylife said...

I would like to know if I may have permission to post your Desperately Seeking Lucille and the follow-up Sarah Palin and Me at my blog? I would link to you, the source and give you credit however you say. My blog can be checked is one post on Sarah Palin:
Thank you either way.